Sermons and Speeches
Weak Eyes
Shabbat Vayetzei 5774
11/8/13
I don’t know if you remember back in April when President Obama caused a huge geshray amongst politicos over a stupid comment he made. What happened was that in a press conference with California Attorney General Kamala Harris, the President made an off the cuff remark that she was the most attractive Attorney General in the country.[1] Of course, accusations of sexism, insensitivity, and general idiocy soon dominated the news waves. Now, we all know that politicians are known for making gaffes, and sometimes a gaffe is just a gaffe. I don’t think the President was trying to offend anyone with his remark. However, I do think that these kinds of comments about appearance point to something rather insidious in our culture.
Women in the workplace all over the country, even female rabbi friends of mine, complain that people compliment them for the way they are dressed or how they look instead of focusing on the work they do. These comments reflect a reality in which people, and in particular, women, are objectified for their appearance. Even when comments about appearance come out as compliments, they can be incredibly insensitive, because they convey that the person does not truly see you for who you are or value the contribution you can make through your work or your generosity of spirit. And those who are not as attractive are often overlooked by their bosses and coworkers and feel completely invisible.
While this tendency to focus on appearance is disappointing, it is also universal. Kamala Harris, when asked about the comment President Obama made about her admitted that she too judges people by appearance, even though she knows better. Isn’t that remarkable? A strong woman in public office who has had to overcome prejudices about her gender and her race admits that even she judges people by appearance from time to time. In fact, I think that it is something that we all do, at least subconsciously. Scientific and sociological studies show it is ubiquitous in our society. Outwardly attractive people not only have an easier time getting a date, but also they also have it easier in pretty much every other aspect of life. A study out of the Notre Dame school of Business shows that less attractive people are more likely to be bullied in the work place.[2] Studies show that more attractive people tend to hold higher paying jobs than their more plain looking counterparts.[3] They also show that teachers expect more from attractive students, and give them more attention and less punishment.[4] I could rattle off more studies and statistics, but suffice it to say that all this leads me to believe that the most common form of prejudice that exists in our culture is not racism, sexism, or homophobia: it’s looksism. It isn’t really talked about much, but it does reflect an ugly side of human nature: people want to be around good-looking people and find attractive people easier to like. It’s a real shame though, because I know that whether we get attention for our looks or not, none of us wants to feel misunderstood or invisible. I think we all believe an ideal world is one in which physical appearance matters far less than kindness, compassion, and a good work ethic.
Of course, looksism is very apparent in our Torah portion this week Vayeitzei. Jacob, after fleeing from his brother, comes to live with his kinsman Lavan. While there he marries his two wives, Leah and Rachel, but he does not treat his wives the same way. The Torah tells us that Jacob loves Rachel but hates Leah—his accidental bride whom he only married out of a trick.[5] Why is this the case? The only hint that the Torah gives us comes in a single verse that focuses on the physical characteristics of Leah and Rachel. It tells us that Rachel was “beautiful to look at” and that Leah had einei rechot “weak eyes.”[6] Now, this verse is very puzzling. It seems to create a contrast between the two sisters to explain why Jacob loved Rachel and not Leah. As such, we might expect it to say that Rachel was beautiful and Leah was ugly. But it doesn’t say that. It says that Leah had weak eyes. Unless “weak eyes” is a way of saying that Leah was ugly, it is unclear why these two details are juxtaposed, so the meaning of “weak eyes” is ambiguous.
Our medieval commentators on the Bible have dueling views what this detail means. Rashi, the Medieval Jewish commentator par excellence, says that “weak eyes” refers to a midrash that tells us that Leah’s eyelashes fell out because she was crying when she heard that Rachel was to marry Jacob.[7] The midrash goes beyond the scope of the plain Torah text to tell us that Leah was upset because she believed that since Rachel was marrying Jacob, she would have to marry Jacob’s older brother, the wicked Esau. This midrash portrays Leah’s weak eyes as a negative physical attribute. But another Medieval sage Rashbam suggests that “weak eyes” are actually beautiful eyes.[8] So we see that there is no consensus about the meaning of this obscure detail. We cannot say with certainty what it means.
I want to suggest to you that the meaning in “weak eyes” is not whether Leah was pretty or not, but rather in the fact that this detail itself is ambiguous. We cannot make a determination from the details that we have been given whether Leah was outwardly beautiful or not. Therefore, the contrast that the Torah is making through this ambiguity is not that Rachel was pretty and Leah was ugly. The real contrast was that Rachel’s beauty was outward: it was completely apparent to anyone who looked at her. Leah, on the other hand, is more complicated; her beauty is not easily seen from outward appearance. The ambiguity of the “weak eyes” detail thus serves as an invitation to look deeper than appearance, to look into those “weak eyes”—the windows to her soul. Physical appearance can only tell us so much about Leah; her true beauty will become apparent if we can transcend initial impressions and look within. Jacob’s failure to look beyond physical appearances made him fixated on Rachel, while Leah’s interiority was ignored, and the full scope of her being remained invisible to her own husband.
The story of Leah and Rachel tells us that our eyes are very limited in their ability to see the beauty of people. In fact, the book of Numbers commands us to wear physical reminders of the mitzvoth, our tzit-tzit, because of our human inclination to follow the lustful urges of our eyes.[9] The text of this verse literally says that if we do not remind ourselves of the commandments, then our eyes will “whore” after the things that lead us astray. Our eyes are not only weak, but they also can lead us to the wrong desires and the wrong conclusions about people. So what can we do about this? First of all, we have to recognize our human nature: we use our eyes to make many determinations about people. We have to notice when we make judgments about people based on appearance and then try to overcome these impressions when they hinder us from truly knowing someone. As we recognize the weaknesses of vision of the eyes, it is important that we also cultivate vision of the heart. We have to see people not just for their looks but for their emotional maturity, their value as a friend or confidante, their compassion, their passion, and the value they bring to this world.
As I think of vision of the heart, I think of the story of Jesse and Kelly Cottle. This couple caught a lot of press coverage lately because of a picture taken of them together. The picture shows the two smiling brilliantly, so obviously happy and in love. When you gaze closer at the picture, you realize that Kelly is physically carrying her husband on her back, because he has no legs. Jesse was a marine stationed in Afghanistan when he suffered catastrophic injuries because of an IED. Both legs were amputated.[10] The story is so heartwarming, because Kelly was able to get past the appearance of a broken body and embrace her husband for the totality of his being. Their story shows us that vision of the heart has the power to triumph over our human nature, when we allow it to help us look behind those “weak eyes” and get a well-rounded view of people. I know it’s hard to get past appearances; it requires us to rise above and transcend our human nature. But when we do move past the visual, entire worlds of possibility open up before us, as we can more acutely see how much beauty truly exists in everyone around us. For we all know that living a truly beautiful life is not about beautification of the body; it’s about beautification of the soul.
[1] http://www.huffingtonpost.com/beth-murphy/politics-feminism_b_3032864.html
[2] http://news.nd.edu/news/41236-unattractive-people-more-likely-to-be-bullied-at-work-new-study-shows/
[3] Perrett, David. 2010. In Your Face: The New Science of Human Attraction. New York, NY: Palgrave Macmillan.
[4] Patzer, Gordon L., Ph.D. 2008. Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined. New York, NY: Amacom.
[5] Gen 29:30-31
[6] Gen 29:17
[7] Rashi Commentary on Gen 29:17
[8] Rashbam Commentary Gen 29:17
[9] Numb 15:40